It's been a while since I have posted here. Since my last post which was shortly after my son's birthday, so much has happened. I was recently told that my depression had returned...severe depression...and I have seen many dark days since...but after deciding that I was not going to use chemicals to help control my condition, I needed to realize that I then needed to take some sort of responsibility in making changes.
So I started making really small changes. So far it has been helpful and I am beginning to feel a lot less sad and depressed. There are still issues that need resolving, but I am learning to manage the condition and my response/reaction to the challenges in my life. It's not an easy journey, but in all honesty....there is much that I have to be grateful for...I have my health, my sight, my hearing and so forth...there are so many others in this world who are experiencing so many atrocities...I just have Depression...
In an attempt to work through all that needs changing in my life...I think that I should start posting here more often...as a means of distraction and a way of working through my emotions and issues. Sometimes it helps to just put it out there...and then get over it. I have found this secret group on Face Book for people who suffer from Anxiety and it has helped in a big way to be able to post whatever I feel at that moment and put my thoughts out there and have no one be judgmental and critical but understanding and giving guidance from down right experience!
There are so many things in my life that I am questioning right now...the perception of what life is....or should be...and all that I have been taught as a kid growing up...taught by my parents...it's weird...let's just say that I am testing and re looking at principles and concepts I have been taught as a child. Trying to define the new me, the me in the aftermath of my diagnosis of Depression and the subsequent divorce. Who knew divorce would leave behind such a big mess to clean up...much like an atomic bomb going off and wiping out everything that once existed or stood there...all manner of structures destroyed...and now I am having to rebuild.
In a way I am glad that the depression and the divorce happened...it's opened my eyes to so much...what I thought was so....was not...
So here's to many a happier posting here on this little blog!
Jay...
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